I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I'm getting married
To pizza
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
