I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
You dont lie about slip and slides
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
