a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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