That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
