ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
