i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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