sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Randomize
