I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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