someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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