She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
