I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
