i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
