Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
