Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
meet me or not, i'm out of control
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
