walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize