end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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