I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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