well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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