I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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