I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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