ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
