# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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