oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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