So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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