dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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