i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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