Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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