Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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