glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Is Oprah even human
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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