i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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