this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
