16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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