O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Everclear isn't food dammit
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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