I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize