You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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