I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
