Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
