i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
