For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Randomize
