I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
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