Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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