even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
