3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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