problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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