Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Randomize
