people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
