Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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