they need to just BURY HIM!
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
