he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I am available for nakedness
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
