It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
