halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
