your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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