I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
