I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
