I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
