Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
