And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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