is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Randomize
