Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
