Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
